Hello peoples.
Hope everyone is dandy as dandelions today. I am aware I have not provided you with some light comical relief at my expense recently. I can only apologize, and grovel with this brand new shiny post of snippety goodness.
Have you ever tried 'mexting'? It is a new phrase I have just coined, because I'm brilliant like that. 'Mexting' means moving while texting, and whilst some people seem to be able to achieve this multi-tasking challenge with grace and skill, surprisingly, I am not one of these people.
I mext quite frequently, which isn't a good idea, but based on the amount of blogs I have written about my life choices and abilities, it is clear that I don't/choose not to catch on fast. Whilst mexting I do tend to slow down inadvertently, and occasionally find myself cruising into the direction of another human being and mumbling my apologies, but usually it is no worse than this. Usually.
On this particular fateful day, I was mexting away. I was also walking fast as I was late for meeting someone, its not an excuse for what happened, but do bear it in mind when you scoff at my silliness. So I was hot footing it down this road, mexting and mistening (moving whilst listening to an mp3/iPod if you're more fancy than me). This essentially means that my vision, (texting) hearing (mp3) and judgement (mental problems) were impaired. Not ideal. Suddenly, I felt a sharp scratching sensation across my face.
Argh!!
I lifted my hands in horror, unsure what was going on, getting my fingers tangled into my mp3 wires in the process and ripping the music out of my ear in a most unpleasant fashion. Whilst trying to twist my way out of the wire web I had created, failing and flailing, I managed to crane my head to see what had attacked me unawares. It was a petruding branch with thorns on it that was the culprit. (Honestly, keep those hedgerows clear from the paths people!) But this was not the end of the tale. Oh no.
Dazed, confused and still trying to de-tangle myself from my own device, I stumbled out into the road. At this moment a large van, merely metres away from me at the time, came screeching to a halt and began honking indignantly. Oops. Embarrassed and stunned by the drama of the last 30 seconds, I continued to saunter across the road like a confused pheasant. This unfortunately gave me the opportunity to lip read what the lorry driver was saying in response to my little slip into the road. It wasn't pretty.
The saddest thing is, I really can't remember who I was texting, or if I even sent the text with all that kerfuffle going down. So, if anyone hasn't received a reply to a text they sent me and is feeling a bit miffed, you should know I suffered thorny brambles and was almost squished by an oncoming vehicle whilst trying to contact you. Perhaps you could be more polite and email next time.
