Hello all. Did you miss me? I thought so.
The moral of today's story is the importance of checking before doing, girls and boys. This is a useful thing to do in several areas of life; before crossing the road, before buying a carton of eggs, before eating a pie that a four year old child has made. Checking is extremely important folks. And here is what happens when caution is overlooked...
So, as some of you know I used to work as a carer, and in some houses people have emergency cords attached. This is so that if they are in trouble for any reason (ie, a fall, sickness) they can pull the cord and it will alert the on-call warden, who, if needs be, can come over and check if they are alright.
So I was in a lady's house and I was desperate for a pee (one of those situations where it niggles at you early on, and you think, huh, I'm busy, I'll go later on. And it goes away. And then it comes back, MEGA strong, and you end up adopting a funny walk, and get a worrying sense that if you don't find a loo within the next few minutes, you will be going regardless). The lady kindly said I could use hers and that it was just down the hall. Down I waddled. Now, it's worth mentioning that the bulb in the corridor light had gone, so it was very dark on approaching the bathroom. I reached the toilet, uttering a sigh of happiness at my imminent relief. I yanked the light cord. Only, it wasn't the light cord. It was the emergency cord.
Immediately a box started beeping loudly. Panic, panic! My original crisis now put on hold, I had to head over to the box and try to figure out how to stop the scary bleeping I had started.
"Hello! Do you need assistance?" Said the box.
"Umm... No, I'm just the carer and I needed to pee... Sorry."
"Ok, good bye then."
It was a little humiliating. I sheepishly headed back to the room where the lady was to see if she was worried about all the curfaffle. She hadn't noticed a thing (I think 'The Cube' was on, and I can vouch that it is a very gripping show.)
I went back into the toilet, as cautious as I could be whilst crossing my legs for fear of going on the carpet. I could see now as my eyes adjusted that the cord I had pulled was red. Avoid that one this time! I could see another thinner, white cord next to it so I pulled that one. Nothing happened. Darn, it must have been the shower cord. This bathroom was booby trapped with misleading cords! By this point I could mess about no longer. I hobbled blindly in the dark, whimpering, located the toilet and sat down abruptly.
What utter relief I felt to finally go!
I don't know what the lady thought I was doing all that time, probably suspected a number 2. It is irritating how the more pressure you feel to do something, the less capable you are of actually doing it. So, here are my words of wisdom. Even in an 'emergency' situation, do not assume that the cord/switch/face you are touching is what you think it is. Or, God forbid, you could end up with a blog just like mine.
