I saw an advertisement for Christmas the other day (only three months away, everyone panic!) and it reminded me of an amusing present anecdote that I wish to share with you all....
A few years ago, me and one of my friends had gotten into a habit of getting each other slightly foolish gifts. I had received a back scratcher (which could have been useful had the scratching section of the back scratcher not fallen off when in use), I had given him some underwear labelled with his name, you know, just so you know you're wearing the right pants.
Anyway, this particular occasion was his birthday, and whilst shopping with a friend, we thought we'd go and look in Ann Summers and giggle childishly at the rude things. Whilst browsing, I came across a candy thong, and thought it would be the perfect hilarious birthday gift. However, when I got to the till I suddenly felt a little sheepish, in the way that all young, shy women do when purchasing underwear made of candy. To counteract my embarrassment, I placed the box faced down, in the hope that somehow whilst scanning my purchases she wouldn't notice what I had bought. She did notice. Not only did she notice, she informed me that there was a two for one sale on candy thongs, did I want a matching bra or another thong?
Flustered, I replied that I wanted another thong (I'm not entirely sure why, somehow it just seemed less embarrassing than getting an entire candy ensemble) trying to lower my voice as I could see a queue forming behind me. The woman nodded, smiled, then shouted out:
"Kelly, can you pass me another candy thong please?"
(I'm not entirely sure her name is Kelly, this did happen a long time ago, and the details I remember are more how red my face was than what the staff were named). Needless to say I got a few bemused looks from other customers.
I think the worst thing about embarrassment is that you feel it much worse than anyone else does. The Ann Summers girls didn't care that I was buying a candy thong (I'm sure its not the craziest item they have seen people buy) but the more you try and avoid being embarrassed the more it invites itself in, has a cup of tea and then slaps a pie in your face on the way out.
My friend did find the thong very amusing though. So there is a little hope at the end of the story.
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